Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this cover letter because I would like to be considered for the position of Regis Philbin with your organization. I understand that Mr. Philbin will be retiring soon, and ask that you consider my qualifications to replace him.
I am a highly trained crotchety old man and that is why I was very pleased to learn of this opening. I believe I would make an excellent addition to your staff.
I believe my extensive background in Word Perfect, Excel, Microsoft Outlook and Quark Xpress would be a good fit on the Live with [Name to Come] and Kelly show. I have done some television advertising acting for local businesses such as car dealerships and clothing boutiques. During my past experience I have handled a wide range of creative services, collaborating with creative services peers, subordinates and vendors to produce marketing and other print communications. I am also equipped with good communication and editing skills.
I am the 1971 winner of the “Most Likely To Be On Television” award from Miami Norland High School. In 2002, I appeared in the background on the Today Show, waving my arms wildly as I stood on the street outside their studio. In 2008, I was arrested for bank fraud and had my mug shot appear on local television newscasts.
I have watched your show for a number of years and believe I would be a good match with Kelly. I am able to dumb down my conversational skills, I am not annoyed by the way she constantly tugs at the shoulders of her blouse, and I am not overly repulsed by her spindly arms and legs. I am familiar with the animal kingdom and would not confuse Ms. Ripa with a marmoset or lemur when she widens her eyes in amazement.
If you think I would be the right candidate for this job, then please arrange an interview for me as soon as possible. I am even able to relocate for this position, though I would prefer to use Skype for my daily appearances on the show. (Another qualification: I know how to use Skype).
Thanks for taking the time to consider my application.